Sunday, February 03, 2008

What did you do during the Super Bowl?

We live in a pretty small apartment with only one TV, so I'm making the best of it.

I can't say that I understand football. It seems silly, but I've been learning about it tonight because I can't help but look up from my Annetrelac socks when my husband shouts at the men who are playing football in Arizona, three thousand miles away.

From what I can tell, the game is rather boring and the rules presume either superhuman athletic ability on one end and total wussiness on the other. As I see it, each football "play" goes as such:
1. Approximately two dozen very large men crouch in opposing lines.
2. One man touches another man on the scrotum. This is apparently okay because he does it with the back of his hand.
3. The man who has been fondled passes the ball to the man behind him.
4. All the men in the lines hug.
5. All the men in the lines fall down and roll around on the ground.
6. Sometimes a ball is thrown, but it often had no effect because the catcher misses it or falls down. All action stops. The game cannot go on. No one may pick up the ball. No one may run with it.
7. The men walk around for a bit before getting in their lines again.

As for the rules I've learned:

1. A man may successfully catch the ball when his body and arms are outside the arena and he is inches from the ground, just so long as his tippy toes are touching the green.
2. If a man catches the ball and drops it, no one may take it if he stumbled and fell. He's however out of luck if he seemed to take a step.
3. Apparently, there is an "illegal back forward." How knew?
4. A man may not impede another man from catching the thrown ball. I'd think this would be the defenseman's job. Guess not.

As the wife here, I've also been looking at the ads. The FedEx one almost had me pee my pants.

Back to knitting and learning about football.
Post a Comment