Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Pregnancy isn't always fun. I mean, the anticipation of a little one is very exciting, and the miracle of having another person growing inside me blows my mind. But the nausea, aches, sleep interruptions, and other discomforts you don't want to hear about tend to get me down.

But there is one part I find completely hilarious. It's the "what kind is it?" guessing. The Amazing E and I are waiting until our Chick is born to find out the sex of the baby. We figure there are very few genuine pleasant surprises in life, and this situation is one of them. So we're happy to wait. Some others, however, are not so patient. Indeed, many people are absolutely shocked that we're not taking advantage of the technology to find out. So in their curiosity they try to guess. And it's just hilarious to me.

So let's see? What do the Old Wives Tales tell us about "what kind it is?"

1. One story goes that if the fetal heart rate is above 140, it is a girl. According to the doctor this morning, The Chick's heart is beating 145 times a minute. So we're having a GIRL.

2. Some other people say that carrying the baby high, it's a girl. If it's low and around the hips, it's a boy. Well, my belly isn't big, but so far the baby feels like it's sitting pretty low. So we're having a BOY.

3. Then there's the acne test. Sorry to say, but I have acne. So it must be a GIRL.

4. One friend told me that since I have cravings for spicy meat, it must me a BOY.

5. But the same friend also said that if I still like my husband while I'm pregnant, we're having a GIRL.

6. 71% of the time the mommy guesses right. I think we're having a GIRL.

7. Apparently the baby effects the growth of leg hair. They, whoever they are, say that if your leg hair grows faster it's a boy. It might be TMI, but mine is growing just the same. And I hope our GIRL doesn't get cursed with fast growing leg hair.

8. I dropped the mac 'n cheese right on the floor yesterday. Clumsiness is supposed to be a sign of a BOY.

9. I just put my wedding ring on an string and held it over my belly. It swung in a circle rather than back and forth. This would indicate a BOY.

10. Lastly, my favorite one. Craving chocolate is a sign of a GIRL. I must be destined to have only GIRLS forever.

Monday, August 17, 2009

DH's latest revelation from ON HIGH

He wrote his new insight into the nature of the universe this morning:

I have a new theory about cats
I have an entirely new theology.
In the beginning, god created the universe. It was, in fact, a revelation of this world from beyond the shadow that he installed to hide us from his presence
There is, however, a personage that evolved from this shadow - the Lord of Chaos
Indeed, this Chaos Lord is responsible for entropy and the nature of the universe ending in a heat death
For the Chaos lord has agents in this universe
In the form of kittens and cats. Cats are indeed sent from the Lord of Chaos to be adorable and irresistable to humans
Yet they are agents of entropy, forces of destruction
For in fact they are responsible for random placement of socks, hair ties, toy mice, and other objects around the house
That we put away previously
This morning's evil deed was hiding my wife's wallet
Right when she needed it
They knocked it down
Knocked it down behind the couch
Much as they were responsible for the downfall of many civilizations

Sunday, August 09, 2009

I got got

Maven over at Fiber P*rn tagged me with a Meme. I don't think she understands what she's done, tagging me like that. I am happy to oblige her, because now I'll have the opportunity to exercise my stealthy and mad ninja skills on her at a time of my choosing. Yesss. Yesss indeed. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and I'll savor and plan the meal for a long time.

As the first step in initiating my newest vendetta, I'm posting here 7 things you probably didn't know about me.

1. I am a ninja, not a pirate. The pirate thing is just my cover. Don't tell anyone.

2. I can make fire without matches.

3. I am not left handed. Even if both my parents are.

4. I feel great shame when my floors are dirty, but I can't give a hoot about the state of the windows.

5. I have only been knitting for 4 1/2 years.

6. I am clueless about computers. For real. As far as I'm concerned they are powered by a tiny fairy. And I do not care to learn the truth.

7. I find sweet corn detestable. In all forms. Yes, some of you know that, but probably you don't actually believe it.

As I recall, Mrs. Strauss tagged me for a meme centuries ago. I am tagging her again.