In Act 4 of the saga of closing on the house, we last saw our heroes sitting on their hands waiting to hear that the government form had been filled out by the loan officer and sent into NeverNeverLand, where the actual settlement seems to at once constantly yet never taking place.
The last time we checked, Kung Fu Knitter saw signs that it was Friday afternoon in the real world. In the alternate universe they're trapped in, cryptic messages had been seen profesying that the hidden and mystical "Tuesday" would be the date of settlement.
Our heroes had had it up to HERE! with all of it, so the Amazing E got on the phone with the COO of the loan company and demanded a real time that the closing would happen. After actually raising his voice at E, "Tuesday" was renamed "Monday, We promise!"
Just then, a booming voice declared "Tuesday is Tuesday, and Tuesday is the day for the settlement." Oh well.